You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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