ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
