Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
