Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
