That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
