God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
