do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
