come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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