not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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