we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
