I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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