so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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