you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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