hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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