So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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