Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize