in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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