Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
