But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
