Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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