I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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