You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
