is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
