No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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