quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
