I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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