i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
