A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
