they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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