Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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