I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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