I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
