I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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