I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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