Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
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decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
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Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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