I think my vagina is haunted
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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