**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
