That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
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you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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