And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
