3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
