I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
