and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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