I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
