I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
