She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
