when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
