I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
