my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
