just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
