Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
