no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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