So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
