He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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