I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
