You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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