were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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