Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
