So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
