my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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