Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
