tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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