I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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