Can Purell be used as lube?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
