Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
